Diary of a Music Supervisor Entry #006: Comparison Is a Funny Thing
Why measuring your chapter against someone else’s highlight reel is a trap—and how to stay focused on building a life you actually enjoy.
Dear Diary 😊 Comparison is a funny thing.
About a week ago, I went to a music industry party at a beautiful home in the Hollywood Hills. It was hosted by the founder of a music company and her husband. Stunning house. Warm hosts. Great people. Just an all-around wonderful evening.
I invited a longtime friend to come with me. We used to work together, and today he runs his own successful company.
We walked in, and it was such an inviting space—you could tell they’d put a lot of love and energy into it. We had a great time, the food was amazing, and everyone was in high spirits.
As we were leaving, we were talking about how incredible the night was, and then my friend said something like, “This really puts things in perspective.”
I don’t remember his exact words, so I asked him what he meant. He made a reference to how nice the house was, but I could feel that he was comparing more than just the square footage.
I stopped him right there: don’t go there. He runs his own company. He’s successful in his own right. Comparing his life to a snapshot of someone else’s living room is apples to oranges.
Since then, I’ve kept thinking about that moment. It reminded me of so many other conversations where people catch themselves doing the exact same thing—measuring their chapter against someone else’s highlight reel.
When I hear that kind of negative self-talk creeping in, I usually say a version of what I told my friend that night: we are exactly where we’re meant to be. Comparing ourselves to someone else rarely makes sense because we’re playing completely different games.
Plus, we don’t actually know what’s going on behind the scenes.
At any given moment, all we’re really seeing is the outside layer—four walls and a couch, a great car, or just a smile that hides a heavy day. We don’t know what people are carrying when the music stops and the crowd goes home. We’ve all learned, time and again, that appearances tell us almost nothing about a person’s actual peace of mind.
I don’t care what someone else’s house looks like, because it’s not where I live. I care about my house, and that’s where I keep my focus. What someone else has going on is none of my business—and honestly, it’s none of anyone else’s either.
It reminded me of a classic takeaway from The Millionaire Next Door — which inspired a piece I wrote recently on what real wealth actually looks like. Real wealth often looks completely different from what we imagine, and chasing appearances rarely leads to peace of mind.
There’s a story about a CEO in Japan who still cleans his own toilets—not because he has to, but because it keeps him humble. Keeps him “right-sized,” as they say. Success isn’t about proving anything to anyone else. It’s about staying grounded enough to enjoy the life you’ve actually built.
I don’t “compare and despair” these days. Maybe I did when I was younger. Today, I’m just curious. I might have a passing thought about where I’m at, and then I move on with my day.
Everyone is playing a completely different game with a completely different set of goals.
The biggest takeaway here is simply to stay focused on your own path. Celebrate other people’s wins. Let’s root for each other—not just for the job titles or the money, but for the amazing lives we get to lead while enjoying the journey together.
If you ever catch yourself slipping into comparison mode, pause for a second.
- Take a walk.
- Go to the gym.
- Meditate.
- Read a great book.
- Watch something that inspires you.
- Call a friend.
Do something that reminds you of your own amazing life instead of peering in the window of someone else’s.
And if you’re genuinely unhappy with where you are… sit with that feeling for a minute instead of running from it. Sometimes it’s telling you something is ready to shift. And sometimes, once you actually look at it, you realize you’re far more at peace than you thought.
At the end of the day, we’re all just human beings living our own unique version of this life, doing the best we can to keep it running smoothly.
Looking forward to seeing you again next week 🌟
Jacquie
